Mandy Elliot’s  eight-year-old son was recently maced in his Colorado school. Without hearing the entire story, most adults might wonder why on earth the police would use pepper spray on a kid. We might even get mad at the cops. But the thing is, the kid had crossed the line. Again, we might ask ourselves how there can be a line. Why would cops ever have to use pepper spray on a kid? Here are the facts.

The kid was in a special class for students with behavior and emotional problems.

The cops had been called to subdue the kid on two previous occasions and they did not use pepper spray.

The cops had been called in because the kid was throwing classroom furniture, threatening to kill the teacher, had a sharp piece of wood he was threatening to injure others with, and was cussing.

With these facts in mind, here is the bottom line. As a teacher and a parent, I believe that they needed to mace the kid. If this is the third time that they have been called in and nothing has been working, what other action could the cops take to ensure their safety and the safety of the teachers and other students? I can think of none.

But get this, the whole story gets better. Mandy has actually decided to make the story public. She has gone onto national television to talk about the horrible treatment of her son. She has been making excuse after excuse for her son’s behavior. She needs to quit blaming everything on his disorder and start looking at her parenting. If his disorder is such a problem, maybe she, as a mom, needs to take the steps necessary to find a way to control the disorder or at least keep it in check. Maybe she needs to look at medication for him. Maybe she should have thought about putting him in a school that would better fit his situation. Maybe she could’ve held him a little more accountable for his actions. After all, what would our world be like if nobody was held accountable for their actions, because they always had excuses for outbursts, using drugs, killing, and other violence? It would definitely be a world that I wouldn’t want to live in. But what do I know, I’m not Mandy.

This occurrence disturbs me for so many reasons. I’m not just bothered by the fertility doctor’s decision to implant her with embryos or that she was already receiving close to $500/month in food stamps besides disability payments for three of her six eldest children. I’m also bothered by the fact that when she was implanted with the embryos for her previous six children, she was receiving disability payments for herself after being injured at work. Also, the medical bills are being covered by the government. Why implant someone with embryos if they are obviously employed and are receiving disability payments? If they are receiving disability for an injury, is it safe to purposely impregnate them?

Even after all of this information became public, Nadya insisted that she didn’t receive government help. However, in her interview, she followed this statement by mentioning different government assistance she was getting. She also says that she will and has stopped her life for her children, but she’s going back to school in the fall for her master’s degree and still pretends that she will have enough time to give all of her kids attention.

I am shocked at the naivety of this 33-year-old woman, she is already over $50,000 in debt and believes that she can pay for daycare and support her family through donations and student loans. If volunteers tire of providing help, her daycare bill, for the octuplets alone, could be $4000/month. She already knows the public opinion of her (she was in hiding because of death threats), and if she is unemployed with that much debt, who is going to dish out that much money for her? Look at the economy. It’s not that easy to get loans anymore.

But maybe she has discovered that she can’t rely on student loans because she is trying new efforts to boost the public opinion of her: she has placed a gag order on her mother. Her mother has made it clear that she didn’t approve of her daughter’s actions as it is the grandmother is providing much of the support for the children, and she can only do so much. Her whole retirement check disappears in a flash and she doesn’t know she can support eight more children in their already crowded three bedroom home.

Nadya says that it wasn’t about publicity or money, yet she has an agent. Also, the embryos were implanted within a year of the cancellation of her disability payments she had been receiving for the previous ten years. Not only does she have an agent, she’s been seen getting manicures and shopping for video games. If she did this just for the sake of having a bigger family, it was kind of a pointless action, because social services will be interested in how an unemployed single woman can take care of her fourteen kids, most of which will likely receive disability payments.

What future will these kids have? Either they will have to be raised by a psycho mother, or they will be split up.

In 1876 Rocky Mountain locusts attacked the entire state ruining crops and eating clothes right off of the line. Can you imagine going to get your dry clothes only to discover that they had been eaten? This is what farmers had to endure for the summer of that year. They were relieved when it was over, believing that things would be better the next year. Scientists pointed out, though, that the locusts had laid an abundance of eggs that would hatch in the spring of 1877 and the scourge would be much worse.

The only plan anyone could think of was a statewide day of prayer. Governor John S. Pillsbury was scoffed at for his plan of attack.  But he did have several supporters. Father Leo Winter argued that the plague was a punishment from God for all the disbelievers who quit going to church. He built a chapel near Cold Spring where sinners could repent.

The day of prayer came and bars were closed across the state as people prayed at home or in church. Then a miracle occurred. A winter storm appeared and froze all of the eggs just as they were starting to hatch. Nobody expected such a storm.

The Assumption Chapel a.k.a Grasshopper Chapel was torn down by a twister in 1894, but rebuilt in 1951. There hasn’t been a scourge of grasshoppers in Minnesota since.

• A swarm of bees settling on a roof is an omen that the house will burn down.
• If you say goodbye to a friend on a bridge, you will never see each other again.
• If a clock which has not been working suddenly chimes, there will be a death in the family.
• A dog howling at night when someone in the house is sick is a bad omen.
• It is bad luck to cut your fingernails on a Friday or Sunday.
• A bed changed on Friday will bring bad dreams.
• If the palm of your left hand itches, you will soon be paying money.
• Stabbing needles through your yarn balls brings bad luck to anyone who wears something made from that yarn.
• If you sing before seven, you will cry before eleven.
• If 13 people sit down at a table to eat, one of them will die by the end of the year.

I wander over to the shrine aka my coffeepot. Three scoops of Cinnamon Swirl Folger’s coffee is dropped into an innocent filter and two cups of water are poured into an opening so that my potion can be concocted.

In minutes the brew is done, almost. The wateriness of the liquid proves to be unappetizing and I dump spoonful after spoonful of sugar into the cup, stir, then add chocolate creamer liberally. Sugar is magical and the coffee drippings becom liquid happiness. Then I realize something. Not just anything, a truth of life.

We grow older. We change. But we can never erase the child in us, no matter how much we try to. The past is, and will always be, a part of us. It is what made us into who we are. When I sugared up my coffee, I traveled back in time to a morning in my childhood where cheerios were all that was left in the cupboard. Not honey nut cheerios, just plain, old, excitement-is-for-the-weak cheerios. Yet sugar was able to do wonders for the bland cereal. It had my back then as it does now.

I may be older, but I still believe in the childhood tactics for creating deliciousness. Don’t ignore the child within you, sometimes it can be your best friend.

PB&J...Goes together like peas and carrots

A 72-year-old milkman, Robert Holding, recently plead guilty to delivering pot along with milk to his customers in England. He was selling the drug with good intentions, as he sold it to help his elderly customers with their aches and pains. I’m not too concerned with his judgment or with his procedures (customers left notes on doorsteps). I’m only curious as to how it all began.

Who first suggested the deal? Was it him or a customer? He might’ve seen a customer walk out, bend over to pick up the milk, and struggle to get up. Was that what lead him to make an offer?

But maybe a customer thought he was a stoner, or had connections with stoners. Did an old woman whisper in his ear, “I’ll give you 5 pounds for a dime.” Maybe not. Perhaps she was too shy to suggest such a proposal face-to-face and opted to slip a note with a request for some herb into an empty milk jar instead.

A lot has been written about what has happened. I just want to know how it started.

Heaven? Could be...

My step-grandma died this past week, and as a result, I haven’t really accomplished anything. She was one of those rare people who gives themselves entirely to others. I’ve never heard of a moment in her life where she put herself before her family or anybody. When the bank took away the farm, she still found a way of making sure her eight kids had food and clothes.

When I heard about her death through a voice message, I was both angry and relieved. She had endured so much pain in the last year, pain that nobody should ever have to experience. Mary Ellen had diabetes which caused all sorts of problems for her in the last 15 years, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, she started getting blood clots, having strokes, and then developed cancer. Everybody has to go some time, but do they have to suffer this much? Her and my step-grandpa couldn’t afford chemotherapy and had no way of battling the disease. Why has an inflated price tag been placed on necessary treatment? Is there a good reason why the United States can’t provide free health-care to everyone? Canada and several European nations do, why can’t we.

These thoughts ran through my head this past week, and still do at times. Yes, she suffered greatly. Yes, I wish she could’ve experienced one last moment without pain before she went. But I just have to find comfort in knowing that she doesn’t have to suffer anymore. My peace came Friday when the joyful notes of polka music filled the funeral home. She loved polka music and she would go to the polka dance every weekend with my step-grandpa, even after she developed a prolapsed uterus. When I first heard the accordion, I didn’t know if I should smile or cry. I was still upset by her suffering, but the music reminded me of the happiness that she had experienced.

I looked to the front of the room and saw her face. She seemed as if she was finally at peace. It was then that I knew I could stop grieving over her suffering and death. She was in heaven, dancing.

Just recently I’ve heard a rumor of a bigfoot siting in Bagley, MN. Although I believe in it’s existence, I can’t believe the rumor. How can there be enough virgin territory in the area for the animal to have remained hidden all this time? There are a lot of wild animals in the area that people don’t realize live in the woods outside of their homes. Cougars and timberwolves have been known to pop up and leave their mark by occasionally killing horses and livestock. But I think the idea of bigfoot being spotted in Bagley is a little farfetched.

If you don’t believe in the existence of bigfoot, consider the fact that new species of fish are discovered every day. If that doesn’t change your mind, think about the discovery of the pygmy tarsier or the chupacabra.

Some tips I’ve discovered on my own, read about, and heard through word of mouth for getting babies to fall asleep are:

-Bathe her

-Dress her in soft pajamas

-Read a book (Penny likes Dr. Seuss)

-Rock her or walk with her

-Turn off main lights in baby’s room

-Play soothing music (Mozart is usually recommended, but Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers is Penny’s favorite)

-Give her a pacifier

-Give her a baby massage

-Tuck her in while she’s sleepy, but still awake

-Start a routine

-Swaddle

-Rub lavender scented lotion on her

-If nothing else works … put her in the car and drive around the block

Sweet Dreams

I had my postpartum Pap smear in October and the doctor made it sound like everything was as it should be. Having had faith in my doctor’s opinion, I wasn’t too worried about not receiving a call about the results. I assumed that because they hadn’t called me, the test had come back normal. I was wrong.

A few weeks after my apointment, I brought my daughter to the clinic for her two month appointment. While the nurse was giving me an overview of what was going to be done, she told me that I would need to schedule a colposcopy. My Pap smear had come back abnormal and if nothing showed up during the colposcopy, I would need another Pap smear in six months to make sure that nothing had popped up again. If something did show up, we would find a way of treating it. 

 At first I was angry that they didn’t tell me of the results sooner, then I became worried. What was wrong? I fought back my tears as I heard her tell me this and I looked at my little girl. Did I have cancer? Would I be able to see her grow up? These thoughts haunted me for three months until I finally got my colposcopy. Fears three degrees left of my worst were confirmed by the nurse. She told me that the abnormal Pap smear tested positive for a high-risk  type of HPV known to cause cervical cancer. She went over the procedures and she assured me that if anything was found, we’d be able to treat it quickly.

Unfortunately, something did show up and they had to take a biopsy. The doctor said the abnormal tissue looked minor and we should be able to treat it. Yet, even with his optimism, I find it hard to remain calm. The week of waiting for the results is going to be a struggle in itself.